happy ha ha no hi (mother's day)

When I look at my family I feel that I live such a charmed life.  My heart has been so filled with gratitude lately.  I am thankful that I am being blessed with another child.  I just can't express how excited I am to see him and hold him in my arms.  I feel like an ache from empty arms of 13 years ago is healing in some ways.  I can hardly believe it is happening and that in a few short days he'll be born.  As my pregnancy has drawn to a close, I have been reflecting on the special things about being pregnant.  Usually I focus more on the things I don't like...being huge, shortness of breath, achy hips, peeing all the time, heartburn, blah blah blah.  But like I said this time I have been reflecting on the other things.  The special moments that are mine and his alone;  the way I can feel him move;  the wonder of this little person growing inside of me.  In this last conference Sister Dalton in speaking to the young women said our bodies were temples because they have "the capacity to house not only our eternal spirit but also the eternal spirits of others who will come to the earth as part of your our eternal families."  And I have just really felt that miracle at this time.  And today being mother's day, I decided it was time to document my growing family in all my ginormous glory.  It took some convincing to get Brent to cooperate, but in the end he was a good sport--just too bad we had so little daylight left.  (1 of the advantages of being so far north right now was that we had any daylight left)

All of his big sisters are really excited and full of love for him already

Don't they look alike?

 

In Sunday school a few weeks ago the teacher told of an experience she'd had when she was praying in frustration about her children.  The answer that came to her was "if you only knew who I had sent to your home..." and that really struck me as being true of my own family.  I am blessed.  

  .

I tried a belly to belly picture with Brent but it looked terrible.  I think his belly is just too high.

I hope you are satisfied now Sarah.

 When I found out I was having a boy I had this amazing feeling wash over me.  Like God was blessing me with a very special child and that He knew of my heartache in the past.  I try to remember that feeling in my moments of doubt and fear like when he doesn't seem to be moving enough or when the doctor sends me to the hospital unexpectedly.  Sometimes it can be hard to have faith in those special moments that happened in the past when there is some scary possibility presenting itself to me in the here and now.  I'm scared for Tuesday--not looking forward to the last step I have to go through--but I just can't wait. 

the latest in my quickly changing life

Well it has been almost a year now and my wallpaper matches the season so I thought it was time to blog...And yesterday I was really feeling like writing, but I was too busy and now today the feeling has fled.  So I guess I'll make this brief.  Aside from packing and being a single mom for a month the reason why I was so busy yesterday was that I had an ultrasound and Natalie had an orthodontist appointment and we had to do papers...in the worse weather EVER!!!

When we started out to do papers it was snowing.  The kind that comes down really fast with huge flakes--really wet and accumulates fast on the ground.  'No problem' I thought, 'I'll wear my new winter boots from Brent.'  They're big white sorel boots.  Did I mention big?  They are huge!  Brent was trying to surprise me so he asked Michealah what size to get and she told him a 9.  A 9?!  Trying them on in the house they didn't feel too too big though and they were out of my size when I went to look at the store so I thought this would be a good time to try them out...Walking in them was exhausting.  They were so heavy and my foot slipped out so much it forced me to lift up with every footstep.  Then about half way into doing papers the snow changed to heavy pelting freezing rain.  So I had to shuffle along in these heavy too big boots in 5 cm of slush  while being soaked to the bone.  By the time I finished my hip flexors were so sore I could hardly walk.  My feet were kept toasty warm--too warm--I fantasized about taking them off and walking barefoot in the snow--but I imagine up there that'll be a good thing.  So now I just don't know what to do about the boots...

I went to the ultrasound trying not to be too hopeful about them reporting the gender to the doctor.  They never tell me the first time I go.  But I really needed them to tell me.  I told the technician about our move and needing to unload baby girl clothes if I wasn't having a girl and she said "fair enough"  and that if she could see she would put a picture in for the radiologist to see.  Then when she was showing us the baby, she went to have a look at the underside and sure enough the knees were bent and the feet were blocking any view.  'Again,' I thought.  But then she pushed on my tummy a few times which got the baby to move and she said "there's one butt cheek, and there's the other, and there's something right there"

Basketball

Mic plays basketball.  I was told before her first game that she needs another coach because her current one is having knee surgery in the middle of the season.  then i watched her first game.  it was torture.  Especially because parents aren't supposed coach from the sidelines.  We have to sign a pledge about this when they join a team.  So poor mic had to endure a barrage of insights about her game from both brent and myself after the game.  It was torture for Brent too.  So he decided he would help coach.  But he's not been the main coach until just now.  That made it a little better--Brent could just be my voice.  It was kind of strange, I think, how long Brent and I could go on talking about the games--some I didn't even watch, he just told me about them.  But still watching her games have still be a torturous experience for me and then I realized something.  I HATE sitting on the bench!  I want to get in and play myself.  When I watch a game and my team is just not that aggressive I want to get in and do something about it.  So I started looking around for a women's league.  All I could find was a co-ed one.  That is a little intimidating to me.  Besides I want to play--not just run up and down the court watching guys hog the ball.  Last week I got Brent to go to the church to play with me.  It was fun.  I got to work a little on my left side which feels a little rusty.  But there was some sort of impact between something hard and bony on him (an elbow maybe?) and my jaw.  It was a little painful to open my mouth wide for a few days.  Which makes me think, maybe I'm too old.  Maybe my body can't handle basketball anymore.  Maybe that is a risk I'm willing to take.  We all know who my father is.  I've been thinking it would be fun to play a little 2 on 2 with another couple.  Then maybe if I get my confidence and ability up we could join a summer outdoor league.

Thinking about basketball has caused me to reflect.  I loved playing basketball.  I changed schools just so I could play.  It was a part of me.  Now outside of my immediate family nobody even knows I played.  And some of them don't even really know this side of me.  Or they forget.  ("Sarah is the athletic sister") I think it is strange that things that I was so passionate about like basketball, running, and Japan, have become a much more hidden part of myself.  Those things are still there--they're just buried under my more obvious layers.  Why is this?  Maybe those interests are more self-centered.  I guess you could say a newer more important part of me is my family.  My time and energy is focused there and so that is what people who know me now see.  But sometimes I miss the old me.

humiliation

Yesterday was a busy day.  Well every day this time of year is busy but yesterday was particularly scheduled.  In the  morning I was off to help my friend pack.  (why do I always work so hard to help my friends move away?  why do they always move away?)  Ok didn't actually work that hard--just packed a few boxes and left her with a lot more still to do.  Then off to make cookies for a primary activity while E enjoyed a playdate.  The dough was already made so I just helped roll and cut them.  Rushed home to make dinner--there was supposed to be a basketball game to go watch but it was cancelled due to lack of parent drivers.  Mic knew I was going to watch but for some reason thought I couldn't drive...?  (I think 13 yr olds really do lose a bit of logical brain function)  So I did get a bit of a breather to make dinner. 

  We ate a rushed dinner and then off to a magic show at port theatre.  Jason got our family some tickets and we met up with him there.  He wanted to meet an hour early since the seating was just by whoever got there first.  We had to really hurry to meet him there that early.  As I started to quickly put on a little make up, Brent said "why are you doing that?  It is just going to be dark in there."  I said it wouldn't be dark the whole time and proceeded to put some eyeliner on but now I was convinced to not bother with anything else.  Well, we were there first.  Jason wanted to sit in the front row--but we convinced him to sit in the third row.

You probably guessed where this is going.  It wasn't only a magic show.  There were other entertainers there as well.  One of the acts was a comedic juggler.  He asked for a girl older than 18 to come up.  I slid down a little in my seat.  He looked in my direction and said "The girl there with the blonde curly hair"  I knew he was talking to me.  Behind me was Sawyer and his dad and behind them was my friend Erin with her family.  None of them had curly hair.  I looked imploringly at my husband to save me but of course he didn't.  I think you all know how much I deplore the spotlight. 

  Now I had to go up on stage in my most frumpy schlumpy clothes--you all know I have some(I was still wearing what I wore to help Michelle with her move) and be used for laughs.  I felt soooo AWKWARD!!!  He didn't require that much of me.  Just chain his hands in this weird contraption I didn't understand at first.  And put hacky sacks on his feet.  He made inappropriate jokes and then commented on my big wedding ring.  Brent pointed out later that after I chained his hands in he asked me to give him a high five and I didn't even notice that he had gotten his hand out of the chains.  I was just worried about catching the hacky sack. After I caught it he kept saying "chest bump"  There was no way.  I just kept backing away from him.  I was just so embarrassed.  For my humiliation I got a little picture of Ricky Martin.  (nat was shocked when I gave it to Nieve today)  He still kept talking about me and to me after I sat down.  It is now right up there as one of my most embarrassing moments--made only worse by the fact that there were several people I knew in the audience.

i hereby promise to post more and read more blogs.  hold me to it peeps!

Sometimes I wish my life was just watching movies and eating chocolates

It is Sunday night and I don't want to go to bed yet because I don't feel like ending the weekend yet.  A couple of weeks ago I was feeling rather sluggish on a Monday morning so I decided to plug in the laptop and listen to conference while I did my housework.  I have found it to be a very good way to 'get the ball rolling'.  You know how when you watch conference your mind just fills up with things you should be doing and you feel this restless energy while you sit there listening?  Now I put that energy to use cleaning my house...although I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly the desired effect of conference... it helps and inspires me in other ways too.

I have been wanting to blog but just haven't really had anything to write about.  I think when I haven't blogged in awhile I need something...a feeling, a special thought to share and I just don't have one this time.  But I will persevere in the hopes that the feeling comes eventually.

The weather lately has been so beautiful and I finally managed to get Brent to make a family outing to the corn maze.  Every year he has always rejected this suggestion.  I think the big difference is that right now we have a couple Japanese students staying with us and we like to do fun things with them.  The last time I was at the corn maze it was night (for YWs) and really really muddy.  E was a babe in arms and I didn't even make it to the maze before I got stuck in the mud, so I didn't even do it.  Luckily we've had fairly dry weather this year so it wasn't too bad.  The kids had a fun time and when we were done we took a little hayride to their pumpkin patch.  Mic and nat picked out an enormous pumpkin and our 2 students each picked out little ones.  Tomorrow we will be carving them and roasting the seeds.  This is a little earlier than I like doing it--I think that the pumpkin will be rotten before Halloween, but Brent is getting his way this time.  (just as long as he can accept he won't get his way for Christmas.--Every year he starts nagging me earlier and earlier.  last year it was the 3rd week of november.  And Sarah you are no help at all in that area.)

Last night I took mic out for a girls night out.  I really wanted aunties here for this because that is when she really wants to be included in the 'grown up' things.  I got Nieve and Michelle, Melissa, and Keera to come.  Although I had reservations we had to wait 45 minutes to be seated.  Consequently we received $50 in gift cards and free appies.  The night started out a little rocky with Nieve making mic cry by embarrassing her, but other than that it went pretty good.  Nieve and her mom got mic some gifts that mic would only look at when neive was in the bathroom.  They got her a stuffy for her future child, cozy socks, and a ring.  Neive also illustrated a card that was kind of...graphic.  Mic cheered up by thinking of what she'll do to get back at Nieve.  One of them is to regift the card  to her. 

Today we (minus stick-in-the-mud-Brent) went to Sugar loaf.  First thing we noticed when we drove up was that the sign featured in our sugarloaf  photo shoot has been replaced by a much more generic one.  Climbing up there always make me think of family.  It just feels like one of our spots...Almost every time I go there I am with someone from our family.  Although I often see people there it always seems to be an under appreciated gem and our family belongs to the small group of appreciaters.  Our students were so amazed at how beautiful it is there.  It has been interesting for me to see Nanaimo through their eyes.  I mean I've almost always thought it was beautiful here but when I contrast it with the urban sprawl of Japan I can really appreciate the beauty of this sleepy little city nestled in the hillside along the coast.  That's what I think it looks like as you approach departure bay from the ferry.   Ironically the only time I was not able to see the beauty here was when I flew home from Okinawa.  After living somewhere so tropical the evergreens and ocean looked so dark to me.  There was definitely something psychological interfering with my judgement.  I'd be willing to bet mom and dad would still be able to recognize the rugged beauty of the island after their 2 years in the tropics.  I'm feeling rather rambly now and since it is now technically Monday, I'd better stop.

Conference Weekend at the Schofields...

Conference weekend was so uplifting and inspiring.  We all crowded in the study to watch it at home.  Due to the attractiveness of our traditions, even E wanted to participate.  I don't know why I insisted on going to church to watch it for so long.  It is just so much more comfortable to watch it at home.  I don't have to do my hair...(as you can see) get the girls up and ready...we can control the temperature or at least use blankets (why is the church ALWAYS freezing during conference?  to keep us awake?)  and if the girls have watched enough, they can leave and go play or have a nap.  Although this year, I think it was mainly E who didn't stay and watch everything.  So here we are...

One of our traditions is to have a little quiz for fhe the next day and everyone gets to ask questions.  This gets the girls keeping copious notes about tie colours and hymns sung.

One of my favourite talks was by Elder Cook about how lds women are incredible.  Of course that is when I look over at Brent and see this:

Why is it that he always falls asleep in these ones?!!  The flash of the camera woke him up and aside from that little bit of dozing he was awake for all of conference.  Which may not seem like anything, but he usually sleeps through most of the 2nd sessions on both days.  (he probably won't like me posting this)

One of our most popular traditions is making a list of words that we think will be said during the conference and if you hear one of the words, you get to dip into the goodie bowl.  The girls choose what treats they want us to get and we pick them up the night before.  Brent always picks really specific phrases that are unlikely to be used such as "provident living"  but ever since the first talk of a conference was on that exact topic, he has gloatingly added many such phrases.  This year he said "natural calamity" which was only said in one prayer and prayers don't count for getting candy.  But I doubt he will change his ways.

This is E's face as she asks me if she can have another candy.  The candy is really the only reason we saw her come around during those 4 hours.

It would be misleading for me to leave you with the impression that it was all just an idyllic weekend.  During Elder Scott's heartfelt talk about his wife and love in the family mic and nat started fighting over feet being on the chair and it got so bad they had to be kicked out.  I loved Elder Scott's talk too.  (in spite of the contention)   Elder Oaks talk probably was the one that really spoke to me and has made me think.  He spoke on desires and how our desires affect our choices and choices affect our actions.  It has caused some reflection--what do my actions show my desires to be?  I really need to take some time and delve into this.  Taking time for things like that is another thing that is hard for me.  Look how I've put it off all this time--2 weeks since I heard his talk and I've done little about it other than reflect a little on one of my runs.