i finally did it

i have a very sore butt. that is because it is thursday. thursday is one of my weight training days. so is tuesday. my butt wouldn't be sore if i actually went and did weights every thursday. fact is i haven't gone since november. fact is i took being pregnant as a good excuse to stop going. fact is i could never motivate myself to go. fact is, marilla, that i needed karen to get me to finally go. so i finally got someone to go with me so that i would not be able to back out. funny, even as i was making the "appointment" i was thinking in my head 'noooo i don't want to go' so today i finally went and i already have a sore butt. all the running i have done could not have saved me. speaking of behinds and running, nat asked me why people's bums move when they walk. then she demonstrated to me a hip-swaying kind of walk. i write a lot about my exercise...i wonder why. today was the enrichment relief society party. we were all supposed to bring a 5 dollar or less gift that reflected one of our talents. i thought about this for some time and couldn't think of anything to bring. i don't have one of those outward types of talents--like sewing or knitting or scrapbooking or being crafty at all. sure, i run, but what can one bring related to that? a bottle of yucky gatorade? so i struggled. i asked brent and he was no help at all. then today i called delanie to see what she was bringing...and then i remembered that i can speak a second language. how is it possible that i could spend sooo much time developing this talent and then completely forget it? i guess it is because i don't use it. that talent is covered with dust in some back closet. i wish i could use it more. now i'm so rusty that i have little confidence when talking to someone. i always think that they must be thinking...why is she trying? i would understand her better in english...haha maybe i think that way because i would often think that in japan. i hated it when people would speak to me in their broken english. (once i knew japanese that is) i think i took it as a bit of an insult that they thought they needed to use english--that my japanese wasn't good enough. then on the other hand, i hated it when missionaries said i was a good missionary because i was so good at japanese. i wanted to be a good missionary for other reasons--speaking the language well does not make you a good missionary. i miss japan. i want to go back. if brent got a good job there i would really consider it. this is the longest i have been away. i wish it wasn't so hard to go there.