floundering

i woke up at 6am today. i set my alarm the night before, knowing i did not want to get up then. i lay there listening to the drip drip drip of the drain outside thinking and having an inward battle. the drain is dripping, is it raining? i don't want to get up. if i get up, what will i do? how far should i run? why should i run? i don't want to run in the dark. i don't want to run at the gym on the treadmill. i don't want to run in the middle of the day. i tried to go back to sleep. i didn't try too long because i knew it was fruitless. so i got up begrudgingly and got changed into my running stuff. now the big question was how far should i run? and do i want to mix up where i run so that i'm a little safer running in the dark. even as i walked out the door, i hadn't made up my mind. so i decided to do a short a fast 3 miler. and i ruled out the speedwork. i decided to just run all out. and so i did. it felt good to breathe in deep gasps of air. it felt good to stretch my stiff muscles. it turns out i didn't have to get up that early because brent didn't for work until after 8:30.