katie-lou-hoo

so much has happened that i just don't know where to begin. my life is just picking up more and more speed. i feel like i'm running to do everything and can't get it all done and very little is done like i feel it should be done. first of all for the exciting news: brent was called by the saanich police force this week. he is gone tonight because he is having his day of assessment at the justice institute in new westminster tomorrow. this is the next step in the hiring process and is huge. it has been over a year since we've heard anything from them and we had pretty much given up on that ever happening. each police force gets a limited amount of seats for this day of assessment. (last year saanich only got 12 for the year and they were hiring 17) so it means that they are really interested in brent. the day of assessment is a full day where they put you in different situations to see how you respond. i'm pretty confident brent will have no problem. after this the only steps left are voice analysis (basically a polygraph test) and then a panel interview. i was the one who got the call from them and i wasn't sure how brent would respond. he had convinced me that he didn't really want to be a police officer. i had pushed for him to do more when he first started granite and then when he stopped but he gave me all these reasons...and i bought them and gave up on that dream. now i find out that brent was just convincing himself because he didn't think it would ever happen. problem is, i don't know how i feel about it all. i'm excited for brent. but i really don't want to move right now. i have never lived this long in one place and now i just don't want to move. and i can see a lot of the reasons why it wouldn't be so good for brent now. (thanks to his telling me) i'm finding it hard to keep changing my perspective and backing all the different dreams.

then the same day pacifica called and offered us a 3 bedroom in the same complex. once again i felt resistent to change. the 3 bedrooms don't border the park and i don't want the ugly flooring they are putting in all units after someone moves out. plus my garden. i have come to see that i have the best spot in the complex. (also the prettiest with the most flowers). then the next day they offered us the four bedroom. that was huge. there is only one in the whole complex. and only one family has lived there since layne and karen left. just think about all the room i would have. but i still have my reservations...one being why move to a spacious place if we are going to be moving to the victoria area where everything is as expensive as vancouver and where we will have to live in a small place? and there is the higher rent, fence in the back blocking my view of the park, ugly flooring and smaller garden issue still. we'll see. i have my walk through tomorrow morning.

friday was patrick and catherine's reception. i met a ghost from my edmonton days: sly. he married one of the hunter girls. at first i couldn't be sure it was him because for one thing he was much chubbier and also i never thought he would get married. for those of you that don't know, he was this extremely socially inept guy who had a big crush on me. (that was always the kind of guy i attracted) he was one of the guys that asked me the sweetheart dance. we were friends, but as always seems to be the case in such situations, if i was nice to him he got the wrong idea and then i would be mean and then i would feel bad and try to be nice...vicious circle. i wasn't sure if he remembered me or recognized me because he never said anything except for a barely audible howdy when i passed him in the hall. but when i approached him he remembered. even my name. i say the even my name part because when i first moved to edmonton he was the first person to ask me out. we went to a u of a basketball game where there were lots of other ysa. when he went to introduce me he couldn't remember my name. i was famous for that for a long time. everybody would pretend they couldn't remember my name. i was very embarassed. so when i saw him he acted a little awkward and that was it. it was kind of weird. the elder who baptized pat came too. he is from st. george. he said he was in the ward when i came home and then served in burnaby with a japanese elder and so i did some work with them. anyways, he said he would be insulted if we went to st george and didn't stay with them. that was nice, but we'll see if i even make it to st george this year.

yesterday was the girls' ballet recital. it was a pretty busy day. mic was in 2 dances. she did a good job. she is really starting to look like a ballerina. her teachers say that she will be ready to take her first exam in the fall which is a surprise because originally the plan was for the spring. the minimum age is 8 but they prefer 9. nat's dance was just plain cute. they messed up a couple times but it was so cute. nat hardly looked like she was dancing--she hardly lifted her knees when she was skipping and walked instead of marched, but in spite of this, she was the cutest...ok, i know i'm a little biassed, but she was really adorable.

then today was relief society...let's just say i'm beginning to dread sundays...everything gets thrown at me in this huge whirlwind of information, instruction, and today there were complaints too. i know i shouldn't let it get to me but i just feel so deflated. i had to teach today. i didn't do a very good job. i was too nervous. i just feel a sort of ache and have a lump in the back of my throat. most people are so nice and supportive, and others are just crabby and scary. i feel like i just made a fool out of myself and i don't want to go back. it is all so overwhelming. i don't how anybody does it. i have been pulled and stretched in so many directions, but i've only been doing this for about 3 weeks. it seems that all i ever write about is relief society. it is consuming my life. well, i've written a lot--hope it isn't too boring.