katie-lou-hoo

it has been a crazy week. way too busy. i even had to bow out of sister movie night, which was a shame because laura and bethany were in town last week. i hardly got to see bethany. on monday we went for a walk. it was such a beautiful night with a warm breeze.
i feel this urgency to get so many things done. i have a cold sore. i keep waking up way too early. it is so annoying! today for example: it is a holiday. no reason for me to be up early at all. so what happens? at 6 o'clock i come to consciousness and there is no slipping back into blissful unawares. yesterday (sunday) i woke at 7 and we have church in the afternoon... and so on. it is driving me crazy!
since i was up so early i went for a run. the weather network said "light rain." i'd really like to know what they define as heavy rain or even just regular rain. everytime i have gone running when it says that, it is pouring and i quickly get soaked. but it felt good--like a sort of cleansing of my mind--an outpouring of wisdom falling from the sky. haha. not being allowed to run sure makes me ache to do so. what can i say. i'm simple minded and reverse psychology works on me. i have been running somewhat tentatively for a couple weeks now. i found a really good website about shinsplints--strengthening and warming up the vulnerable areas. so at the beginning of my run, i look like i am severely disabled. you walk on your toes with toes pointed ahead, then pointed out and then--and this is where i look like i have a problem--with toes pointed in. then you do the same thing over walking on your heels. i can really feel the burn in the front of my shins when walking on my heels. then you do the same thing again while you skip. i don't yet have the nerve to do it when people are around. i know i literally look retarded.
yesterday was overwhelming. the bishop singled me out in the meeting. it was uncomfortable. later he told someone i was a scared little girl. and fact is: i have been feeling that way. but as i thought about it, i realized i'm never going to be able to do this properly if that is how i'm feeling. i need to believe that this calling is from the Lord and that He will help me to do it. easier said than done, but that is what i'm trying to do now. the rest of the presidency is already being very supportive. they are the ones that have all the wisdom. they have so many good ideas and solutions to anything that has been thrown my way. i know that they are the ones to be in these callings now and so by that thought process i need to believe that i am where i am supposed to be too.
well, delanie has just arrived. laura, her and i are going to coombs with the girls.