i am tired

it is 12:40 am as i sit here to type this with elizabeth on my lap. we are having some sleep issues. today things took a rare turn and she went down to bed when the other girls did and i had a baby free evening...right up until i was falling asleep. so i got her up, nursed her, she fell asleep, i put her down, she woke up. after repeating this scenario twice, she was awake so here we are.
it is now 2am. i got her to sleep but she woke up 20 minutes later. i tried to bring her into my bed and continue on with my sleep but no such luck. i find it pretty much impossible to sleep when she keeps unlatching and relatching. at that point i felt like pushing her off the bed, so here i sit again. like i said, we have sleep issues.
as for the rest of my life, i have nothing to say. it is not blogworthy. (not that this is)

i'm done being a ghost

so, yeah...i feel like i'm the ghost sister in the family and now i'm done--at least my part of being a ghost. being a ghost is basically being there but hardly being noticed or thought of or there really. i'm sure you may not see it that way but i do and i have for some time and i know that i am partially to blame for this. the reasons i think that i am a ghost are these:
1)i have not participated much in the blog world but when i have i've just sort of "ghosted" in, reading a few of your blogs here and there and not often commenting.
2)i have read your blogs after i have done things with you and it is hardly ever mentioned and if it is, it is mentioned sort of in passing.
3)when major life changing events happen in my life it hardly seems to be noticed by others
4)major things have happened in your lives and for many of them i never knew until way later.

it has saddened me to see this happening in my life so i have thought long and hard about why things are this way for me and i think it is partially because of my personality, partially because of my where i am in life and how it is different from so many of you, and partially because i withdrew from the blogging community.
so...i am going to try to get back into the blog thing and to do anything else i can do to not be the family ghost because i care about you and what is happening in your lives and i want you to care about what happens in mine.

so here is what has happened recently in my life:

 

we went to bowen park for "the tradition"

 

 

elizabeth consumes my life

 

so that's all for now. i will try to do better and be more involved.