Yesterday was a busy day. Well every day this time of year is busy but yesterday was particularly scheduled. In the morning I was off to help my friend pack. (why do I always work so hard to help my friends move away? why do they always move away?) Ok didn't actually work that hard--just packed a few boxes and left her with a lot more still to do. Then off to make cookies for a primary activity while E enjoyed a playdate. The dough was already made so I just helped roll and cut them. Rushed home to make dinner--there was supposed to be a basketball game to go watch but it was cancelled due to lack of parent drivers. Mic knew I was going to watch but for some reason thought I couldn't drive...? (I think 13 yr olds really do lose a bit of logical brain function) So I did get a bit of a breather to make dinner.
We ate a rushed dinner and then off to a magic show at port theatre. Jason got our family some tickets and we met up with him there. He wanted to meet an hour early since the seating was just by whoever got there first. We had to really hurry to meet him there that early. As I started to quickly put on a little make up, Brent said "why are you doing that? It is just going to be dark in there." I said it wouldn't be dark the whole time and proceeded to put some eyeliner on but now I was convinced to not bother with anything else. Well, we were there first. Jason wanted to sit in the front row--but we convinced him to sit in the third row.
You probably guessed where this is going. It wasn't only a magic show. There were other entertainers there as well. One of the acts was a comedic juggler. He asked for a girl older than 18 to come up. I slid down a little in my seat. He looked in my direction and said "The girl there with the blonde curly hair" I knew he was talking to me. Behind me was Sawyer and his dad and behind them was my friend Erin with her family. None of them had curly hair. I looked imploringly at my husband to save me but of course he didn't. I think you all know how much I deplore the spotlight.
Now I had to go up on stage in my most frumpy schlumpy clothes--you all know I have some(I was still wearing what I wore to help Michelle with her move) and be used for laughs. I felt soooo AWKWARD!!! He didn't require that much of me. Just chain his hands in this weird contraption I didn't understand at first. And put hacky sacks on his feet. He made inappropriate jokes and then commented on my big wedding ring. Brent pointed out later that after I chained his hands in he asked me to give him a high five and I didn't even notice that he had gotten his hand out of the chains. I was just worried about catching the hacky sack. After I caught it he kept saying "chest bump" There was no way. I just kept backing away from him. I was just so embarrassed. For my humiliation I got a little picture of Ricky Martin. (nat was shocked when I gave it to Nieve today) He still kept talking about me and to me after I sat down. It is now right up there as one of my most embarrassing moments--made only worse by the fact that there were several people I knew in the audience.
Friday, November 25, 2011
i hereby promise to post more and read more blogs. hold me to it peeps!
It is Sunday night and I don't want to go to bed yet because I don't feel like ending the weekend yet. A couple of weeks ago I was feeling rather sluggish on a Monday morning so I decided to plug in the laptop and listen to conference while I did my housework. I have found it to be a very good way to 'get the ball rolling'. You know how when you watch conference your mind just fills up with things you should be doing and you feel this restless energy while you sit there listening? Now I put that energy to use cleaning my house...although I'm pretty sure that isn't exactly the desired effect of conference... it helps and inspires me in other ways too.
I have been wanting to blog but just haven't really had anything to write about. I think when I haven't blogged in awhile I need something...a feeling, a special thought to share and I just don't have one this time. But I will persevere in the hopes that the feeling comes eventually.
The weather lately has been so beautiful and I finally managed to get Brent to make a family outing to the corn maze. Every year he has always rejected this suggestion. I think the big difference is that right now we have a couple Japanese students staying with us and we like to do fun things with them. The last time I was at the corn maze it was night (for YWs) and really really muddy. E was a babe in arms and I didn't even make it to the maze before I got stuck in the mud, so I didn't even do it. Luckily we've had fairly dry weather this year so it wasn't too bad. The kids had a fun time and when we were done we took a little hayride to their pumpkin patch. Mic and nat picked out an enormous pumpkin and our 2 students each picked out little ones. Tomorrow we will be carving them and roasting the seeds. This is a little earlier than I like doing it--I think that the pumpkin will be rotten before Halloween, but Brent is getting his way this time. (just as long as he can accept he won't get his way for Christmas.--Every year he starts nagging me earlier and earlier. last year it was the 3rd week of november. And Sarah you are no help at all in that area.)
Last night I took mic out for a girls night out. I really wanted aunties here for this because that is when she really wants to be included in the 'grown up' things. I got Nieve and Michelle, Melissa, and Keera to come. Although I had reservations we had to wait 45 minutes to be seated. Consequently we received $50 in gift cards and free appies. The night started out a little rocky with Nieve making mic cry by embarrassing her, but other than that it went pretty good. Nieve and her mom got mic some gifts that mic would only look at when neive was in the bathroom. They got her a stuffy for her future child, cozy socks, and a ring. Neive also illustrated a card that was kind of...graphic. Mic cheered up by thinking of what she'll do to get back at Nieve. One of them is to regift the card to her.
Today we (minus stick-in-the-mud-Brent) went to Sugar loaf. First thing we noticed when we drove up was that the sign featured in our sugarloaf photo shoot has been replaced by a much more generic one. Climbing up there always make me think of family. It just feels like one of our spots...Almost every time I go there I am with someone from our family. Although I often see people there it always seems to be an under appreciated gem and our family belongs to the small group of appreciaters. Our students were so amazed at how beautiful it is there. It has been interesting for me to see Nanaimo through their eyes. I mean I've almost always thought it was beautiful here but when I contrast it with the urban sprawl of Japan I can really appreciate the beauty of this sleepy little city nestled in the hillside along the coast. That's what I think it looks like as you approach departure bay from the ferry. Ironically the only time I was not able to see the beauty here was when I flew home from Okinawa. After living somewhere so tropical the evergreens and ocean looked so dark to me. There was definitely something psychological interfering with my judgement. I'd be willing to bet mom and dad would still be able to recognize the rugged beauty of the island after their 2 years in the tropics. I'm feeling rather rambly now and since it is now technically Monday, I'd better stop.
Conference weekend was so uplifting and inspiring. We all crowded in the study to watch it at home. Due to the attractiveness of our traditions, even E wanted to participate. I don't know why I insisted on going to church to watch it for so long. It is just so much more comfortable to watch it at home. I don't have to do my hair...(as you can see) get the girls up and ready...we can control the temperature or at least use blankets (why is the church ALWAYS freezing during conference? to keep us awake?) and if the girls have watched enough, they can leave and go play or have a nap. Although this year, I think it was mainly E who didn't stay and watch everything. So here we are...
One of our traditions is to have a little quiz for fhe the next day and everyone gets to ask questions. This gets the girls keeping copious notes about tie colours and hymns sung.
One of my favourite talks was by Elder Cook about how lds women are incredible. Of course that is when I look over at Brent and see this:
Why is it that he always falls asleep in these ones?!! The flash of the camera woke him up and aside from that little bit of dozing he was awake for all of conference. Which may not seem like anything, but he usually sleeps through most of the 2nd sessions on both days. (he probably won't like me posting this)
One of our most popular traditions is making a list of words that we think will be said during the conference and if you hear one of the words, you get to dip into the goodie bowl. The girls choose what treats they want us to get and we pick them up the night before. Brent always picks really specific phrases that are unlikely to be used such as "provident living" but ever since the first talk of a conference was on that exact topic, he has gloatingly added many such phrases. This year he said "natural calamity" which was only said in one prayer and prayers don't count for getting candy. But I doubt he will change his ways.
This is E's face as she asks me if she can have another candy. The candy is really the only reason we saw her come around during those 4 hours.
Brent is gone. I dropped him off at harbour air just after 7 this morning. He has gone to California for some training for half a week. When he is gone, some things (like dinner and dinner deadlines) become so much more laid back for me. And I can watch all the chick flicks I want guilt free. I've been thinking about watching the twilight movies again. I've only seen the 2nd and 3rd once...It is even easier for me to keep the house clean when he is gone. Not because he is so messy but because I just spend more time cleaning when he isn't here because I'm bored and lonely. I don't know how single parents do it. Our home is incomplete. And with the kids going back to school tomorrow, life is feeling drab for me. I LOVED having 2 weeks for spring break. I adjusted so well that a 1 week break seems way too short. My life isn't even that hectic anymore--spring break used to just mean a break from scheduled busy lives to me. It is just so nice having the girls home. All 3 girls got along so well and did so much together. Every year at the start of spring break I have all these plans of what I'd like to get done during the break and we never get close. Always one of the things on my list is organizing the girls room...I guess I'm a little intimidated or just don't want to do it because it NEVER happens. Hardly any of my plans happen. Mostly we laze around eating lunch late and reading lots of Harry Potter. This year the kids were getting along so well, I just didn't want to interfere. But now it is over and tomorrow we are back to living with a schedule. Schedules, I know, can be a good thing. I know I would get a lot less done--but right now I'm feeling rather rebellious about it all. ramble ramble ramble...
I'm not sure why or what I have done to deserve it, but I just feel so much happiness, love and joy swelling up from deep within my soul and spilling out all over me and my life. I have been trying to improve my life--I see it lacking in so many ways. The change that occurred in my ward 2 years ago has been hard for me. At times I have felt discarded, rejected, not good enough, etc etc. I have struggled to understand why I felt so disconnected with the ward when just a few short months prior I felt so beloved and like the ward was such an extension of my family. I knew that I had probably withdrawn myself, but I didn't really know how to undo that or change. I felt the shame of our family (and I resented this shame) and the circumstances under which most of everyone left and to some degree painted with the same brush even though I was rather detached from it all. I've felt a barrier in my spirituality. I don't know how to describe it--maybe like I was just going through the motions but even when I tried to fix that, I couldn't connect....
Anyways, I've been doing little things to try to be better. Like trying to put more into my prayers. I mean when it is something you do everyday at least twice a day it can be hard for me to not just say the same platitudes. Just like it is hard to write a letter to the same person regularly without getting a response (not that I don't get a response, but not in the same way one does when having a regular conversation...you know: yak yak yak, pause, think about what I've said, wait for some inspiration, repeat again and again--its different than yak yak yak, hear response yak yak yak, etc etc. Anyways, it has been an area I need to put in renewed effort.
And going to the temple. After what happened to Brent last time we went to Seattle, we just stopped going. Expensive, need passport, expensive, expensive, expensive. Then the lower mainlanders finally get their own temple and we still find it hard to go. We hadn't been to do a session in a really long time...The last 3 or 4 times we have gone we have worked with the youth in baptistry. The temple is a lot closer and the passport obstacle is now removed but we still have the biggest difficulty which is the expense. I like where I live. Love it actually. I don't really like leaving much--probably mainly because of the expense. When I thought about how little we have used the temple since it has opened I felt ashamed. So Brent and I have set the goal to try and go once a month. With so much family over there, it doesn't have to be as expensive as it is for some other islanders. It is a sacrifice that we felt we should be making. And so with that goal, we went over at the end of January. I was worried that we weren't going to have the money but then we got an HST cheque. It is rather remarkable to me that as soon as we made the firm commitment to go, my mood just changed. It was easier to get up in the morning and do everything I needed to do--sort of like the energy I get at Christmas time. We were graciously picked up at the horse shoe bay terminal by Laura who basically spent the greater part of her Saturday chauffeuring us around and attending the temple with us. It was just really nice to be there and call it an amazing coincidence or just one of the "tender mercies" but our session was about one third peopled by Nanaimo people. The next day at church I felt buoyed up by our little trip. I just felt happy, you know?
Then we felt the need to have a fhe lesson on fasting and this responsibility fell on me. We challenged the girls to have a better attitude about fasting--to try and view it more as the "joy" that it is described in the scriptures. We also challenged Mic to do a full fast which she has never done, but that we felt she was ready to start doing. I hadn't fasted since before I got pregnant with E--so since September 2007. I've been thinking that I probably could now that she only nurses really at naptime and sometimes before bed--especially since I'm trying to ween her. So with that in mind, we all started our fast together on Saturday evening and talked about what we were fasting for. Brent was in Kamloops but he was involved in the discussion via skype. On Sunday morning I woke up earlier than necessary. I thought "oh good. I can use this time to prepare spiritually to have a really good experience at church today. I reviewed my lesson, said my prayers. While I was sitting there enjoying the peace and quiet before I had to wake up the girls, Nat came in and said "I think I have to give a talk today"...From there, everything went downhill. Trying to get the girls ready on time, help Nat to put together a talk that is in her words on her level about Heavenly Father's plan I became very grumpy. Nat kept bugging me (probably because I was so irritable) and I just couldn't seem to stop myself from being grumpy with the kids. By the time we got to church the library was closed and so I couldn't get the things I needed for my lesson. I just felt harried. I didn't have the peaceful, connected feeling I had been striving for. But I did give it my full effort.
Another family goal we have set this year is to focus on service. Every month for one of our fhe's we do an activity. So the Sunday night before the activity night, Brent and I were talking about some difficulties in our ward. One thing I love about my husband is how he can't resist helping someone when he sees their need--no matter what they have done to him in the past. We decided to do a little secret service to some members in the ward. This doesn't usually happen when one does secret service but we heard a little of how what we did helped. It was very rewarding. I guess we "received our reward" especially by my admitting that we did it on here--no longer secret is it? But I will say that doing it has helped at least a little bit in feeling less detached from the ward.
Going back to the just going through the motions, I felt like I was doing that with my scripture reading. Why is it so hard for me to stop in the middle of my day to sit and read my scriptures? I can get so caught up in my day in going from task to task and scripture reading just becomes another task rather than a moment to treasure and enjoy. So it has been another area that I've been trying to give renewed effort. The thing with scriptures at least for me, not every time is a great spiritual experience. Sure sometimes I glean some good direction or inspiration, but mostly I notice how it just helps me through my day. This week I've been rereading the conference talks from the Saturday afternoon session. I've just been blown away at how insightful they have been and were just the sort of things I needed to consider. I love conference :)
Then I heard this song that I had never heard before that just seemed to speak to me. It is not a new song, but I had never heard it before. Since my first time hearing it, I have heard it several times. So had I heard it before and just not paid any attention? or is it suddenly being revived? I don't know. But it resonated so strongly with me and they way that I have felt. Here is a link to it. Although the version I heard was sung by Katie Thompson.
So anyways, to summarize a very long and drawn out post I feel joy--the deep down kind. I feel it is a special blessing--maybe a recognition of my efforts--maybe it means I have a big fat trial coming my way. But for now, I'm enjoying the feeling.
The original reason why I stopped posting before was because I became too busy with Halloween preparation and then when I was done, I wanted to show off my "dolls" That is what it felt like this year--like I was getting to play dress up with my dolls. Unfortunately for E, I was so consumed with getting the other costumes right that I had very little to give to her consideration. She found this dress in the dress up bin and loved twirling around and being a princess. After the stress and insomnia of the other costumes, it worked for me. At strongstart however she was the shabbiest and least elaborate of any of the other kids.
Nat was Glinda the good witch; a recycled costume of Mic's. The only challenge with her's was the crown and the wand and making sure she felt as important and got as much attention as her older sister. On Thursday night before Halloween we all sat down at the table and made her crown and wand. To someone artistic like most of you, you may think the crown was simple--not so to my obsessive complicating way of doing things. Thank goodness I have a husband who is the yin to my yang...or the yang to my yin...(I can't remember which one is the masculine) I coloured streaks in her hair with felt pens. In the end she was quite happy with the results. I think she looks happy and pretty darn cute.
Mic on the other hand...took all my energy and focus to look like she did. First of all she didn't really know what she wanted to be. She wanted to be Annabeth from the Percy Jackson series but we didn't have anything and I thought probably nobody would know who she was anyways. Probably most of you don't know who that is. (I recommend it--its a good quick series to read) Then she wanted to be Ginny Weasley, but again didn't really have anything she could use and a shortness of funds for buying things. So I started asking her what her friends were being and one friend was going to be an Indian princess; that's when I got the idea of being a Japanese girl. I even had a beautiful kimono. I just didn't have an obi (the sash.) So then I did some research about how long they are supposed to be and went to the store and found something that I thought would work. The only problem was that because obi s are so long and narrow I had to sew it together and my sewing machine is broken. I didn't mind leaving the edges rough, but i knew it would fray and I longed to be able to just go over to mom's house and sit down at her already set up machines to sew and surge. So after lying sleepless in my bed I thought of Sis. Schortinghuis. She of course was very gracious and even did all the sewing for me. Wearing a kimono the correct way is a complicated process--especially the proper tying of the obi. Luckily I found a good "how to" video on youtube. The only problem was that the knot it teaches is the one you do for a summer yukata. In the end that is the one I ended up doing anyways. The other one was kind of boring and more complicated. When I tried it out on Mic of course I had waaayy to much obi. Here is my finished product.
We used spray on black dye for her hair and Sarah gave me the idea of doing 2 loopty loop buns. For some reasons, these pictures, make her hair look grey, but it actually looked really black.
Japanese girls usually wear some dangly accessories when they are all dressed up in their fancy kimonos so we attached some beads.
Looking back, I can't believe how obsessive I became with this whole costume. Maybe because it was japanese and I wanted it to be authentic. I didn't want to do the whole white face geisha make-up so I looked up how to do hara-juku girl make-up. It really accented her eyes I thought. And made her look far too grown up.
Note the collar standing delicately away from her neck...
The full view. Isn't the kimono beautiful?
With my Japanese umbrella that Sis. Ota gave me. She wasn't allowed to open it at school except for the parade. I like this picture because I think she really does look like a doll--not quite human.
All 3 of them before they went off to school. I had to wake Mic up before 6:30 am to have her and Nat ready before school. Phew...hopefully I won't be so crazy next year....
