you asked for it

to be honest, i find blog writing a little difficult. when i have something to write about life is too busy and then when i have some time it seems too far in the past to bother-yet i have nothing inspiring to write about when i have time. and by inspiring and don't mean inspiring for the readers; i mean something that inspires me to write. so i'm sitting here feeling tired and nothing is coming to me. yesterday brent came home. he had been gone since monday. he caught the 7:00 ferry but the girls were still awake when he came home. he called on his way home and the girls came down to ask if i was talking to daddy. they'd been in bed for an hour, but i knew it was hopeless. they were determined to stay awake until he came home. it was a hard time for brent being away. he was completely by himself and had no money. he stayed in a hotel and ate peanut butter sandwiches and cold pork and beans. i had to cheer him up a few times and i hate having to do that because it drains me. it is like i give him all my faith and optimism and than i am left with my own doubts and all of his weighing down on me. anyways, i had a big stew waiting for him when he came home. i couldn't wipe the smile off my face when he came in the door. i guess i really missed him. we stayed up late talking, which although might be hard to believe for laura, is not something i do very often--especially with brent. even though i was awake past one, i still set my alarm for 6. i was determined to still go on my run and afterall, i wouldn't have to push nat in the jogger because brent was back. when the alarm did go off, i decided i didn't want to go on my run and that i'd be too tired. the problem: i couldn't fall back to sleep. so finally 20 minutes later i got up and went on my run. i did fartleks and it tired me out. the rest of the morning passed in a blur as i slept on the living room floor and nat played around me. then in the afternoon i slept some more. and now i know i've wrecked my sleeping pattern--i feel like i have jet lag. i'm tired now too, but i'm afraid that when i actually lie down in my bed i won't be able to sleep. i'm a bit of an insomniac at times. i wonder if that means i'll be like grandma b when i'm old. i'm supposed to do my long run tomorrow. the good thing is is that i won't have to wake up early to do it, but what if it wipes me out again? anyways as you can see i really don't have anything to say besides ramblings about my day so i'm going to stop now.